Microsoft's £50bn merger with Activision Blizzard faces in-depth probe

The walls of her café in Doha’s central marketplace (where she remains the only female trader) show photographs of her posing with Hollywood stars such as Tilda Swinton, model Jodie Kidd and other ex-footballers such as Chelsea’s John Terry.

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Everyone then starts to sing ‘happy birthday’ in German, before continuing in English, Spanish, French and Dutch. Alexander-Arnold has come under huge scrutiny this season following some below-par performances for the Reds. 

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The Qataris have clearly fallen for Beckham’s wholesome English image — several people have told me how impressed they were that he queued for hours to see the Queen lying in state — and think he can bring families flocking to the bazaars and beaches.

The CMA said merging Activision with Microsoft could allow the tech giant to use games to ‘damage’ competition in the growing market for cloud gaming, which allows consumers to stream games to their devices in a manner similar to Netflix’s offering for movies and TV shows.

When pressed on using the word ‘rubbish’, Klopp responded: ‘I wanted to say: ‘We have to defend the s*** out of everybody we face’, so that’s why I used the word ‘rubbish’. So, that’s what we have to do and that’s what we try.’

Nor are the white-robed, all-male Qatari police (the promised introduction of female officers has yet to happen) likely to risk causing an international scandal by raiding hotel rooms and fan-zones and dragging people away to be detained and beaten, as routinely happens when the eyes of the world are turned away.

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He said: ‘We need consistency. For consistency, we have to defend the… rubbish, out of everybody. Let me say it like this. I’m not interested in this short-term diagnosis, ‘that was good, that was bad’. No, we have to be good until we are outstanding.’

Unlikely as it seems, the avowedly metrosexual Becks — who has declared his pride in being called a ‘gay icon’ — struck up a rapport with the abaya-clad Qatari spice chef and this week he returned for another PR shoot.

‘We’ll make an assessment from [the CCTV] but, obviously, we’re on the back foot from the beginning because we didn’t have the initial complaint at the time it occurred, which would have been my preference,’ he said. 

Converted in traditional Arab style from a huddle of fishermen’s houses, it will instal sound systems and gaming consoles in the players’ rooms, and this week, at the FA’s request, a swimming pool was hastily being dug.)

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But Bodo/Glimt’s players were forced to make an unusual and unexpected alteration to their plans ahead of kick-off when their bus was stuck in traffic and struggled to negotiate the narrow north London streets near the Emirates.

At the Al Wakra Souq Hotel, where the England team will stay during the tournament, one of Beckham’s many adorers — a Qatari businessman — told me he was even prepared to forgive him his 65 tattoos, though decorating one’s skin goes against Islamic teaching.

The feelings returned on Wednesday, when I toured the Ahmad Bin Ali Stadium, where England will play Wales. Its an undeniably impressive venue, though hearing boasts about its low carbon footprint as millions of barrels of Qatari oil befouled the planet seemed rather ironic.

His is a cruel, miserable existence, though he didn’t say as much. Rather, he was at pains to point out the generosity of many Qatari people, who fetch him food and water when he works near their houses.

Soon his wife, Victoria, will join him, lending her presence to a prestigious fashion competition for talented young Arab designers, chaired by her friend Sheikha Al- Mayassa bint Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani, the sister of Qatar’s ruling emir.