1. Scrutinize each paragraph separately (this can be done directly on the draft itself):
What is the basic point?
How does each paragraph relate to the essay’s thesis?
Should some paragraphs be further developed, condensed, combined, rearranged, or deleted? (If you “outline” each paragraph by briefly stating the main topic in the margins, that will help you answer these questions more effectively.)
Is each sentence clearly related to the one preceding it—and the one that follows?
2. What is the main point being made about these text(s)? Is the point arguable? Is it more complex than simply exploring a superficial aspect of the text? Does the reasoning fall short?
3. Does the author provide specific evidence to back up his or her points? Are more quotes needed? Are fewer quotes needed to avoid redundancy? Are signal phrases (“According to Rousseau . . .” or “Machiavelli states . . .”) used to introduce each quotation or paraphrase? Does the author provide context when integrating the evidence and explain clearly how the evidence proves the points and how the points connect to the claim?
4. Can you accept the writer’s assumptions? Why or why not? Be specific.
5. Are there adequate transitions between paragraphs?
6. Are the introductory and concluding paragraphs effective? What works so far—and what might need revision? Please be specific in your advice.
7. Does the conclusion answer the “so what” question? In other words, does the conclusion branch out a bit and address larger concerns, perhaps outside the world of politics?
8. What are this paper’s major strengths?
9. What major revision do you think the writer of this essay should consider first? For more information on Harmonious Society check on this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmonious_Society
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