Write me a last letter to my ex? for closure’s sake? ammend my text?

I’m married to a guy now. I was in a relationship with my ex who’s a girl, and we broke up 3 years ago. Here’s my story, 6 years ago. When I was 21, I got with her. She was my only friend. I was bullied a lot in school. And when I got out of school, I worked a lot on my looks. Then made some friends for socialising at events. Who were not really close friends. So she was my only friend when I met her. I was really lonely and quiet. Growing up.. She was the smile to my days when I met her. I became more thin, got more stressed. Joined school, had her to keep up with the years that was passing. She always said I wasn’t doing enough so I even quit school. Worked from home so I could be near her all the time. I came out with her because she made me happy. And got even more stressed with society, and family stress. Friends were not even accepting me. And my family was saying their friends tell them “at least their daughters won’t bring home another girl” .. Because everyone was judging me with Erica. I had come out on Facebook. So 1000 over people knew about me and Erica I was just young and stupid. I wanted to scream it out from the rooftops. Facebook was my rooftop. And when I went to any event or functions, my own friends would move away from me when they were with their parents. Or anything. I felt embarassed. Erica had come to see me in my country. Because we were having the long distance relationship and we only met two instances. When I went to her country, and when she came down to mine. So on her last day she was here, my parents went to her hotel. And told her to stay away from me because they wanted to get me married.  That day ” she told me we couldn’t be together” and she told me that my parents had come to see her. So I got pissed. I couldn’t believe my parents had gone to see her and I hadn’t even told them about her hotel. We made up. But after she left, my parents started sending me out with tons of guys. And I had to tell her this. That was our breaking point. But what caused our breakup was when she was speaking of this dating app called “tinder” . She wanted all my passwords and I had nothing to hide so I gave her all my Facebook passwords, instagram password. Every password she wanted. And she found out my tinder account. I didn’t just have tinder but many other dating apps. Because I build apps and websites. It was normal to me. So I asked her to go look and see if she finds me flirting with anyone on it. She asks me  Why was I speaking to another girl, and telling her that I didn’t have a girlfriend.   

  This was because the entire world found out about me and her. So I had to keep her down low and not let anyone know anything about me and her. So my parents can stop crying and setting me up. But she didn’t get it and broke up with me. It was in Feb 2019 when I found out… that she was using “tinder while she was with me, and confronted about it with me on phone just now . This girl, Tina, who she claimed to have met through her friend tells me they met on tinder. And she went on about Tina telling her ” Hi” while she was with me. I was using tinder for support but she was using it and adding girls on facebook while lying to me how she met them.  

  I was blind to the world. She was my only one. And she said I was the casanova. I was too pretty. When she was the insecure one.   

  She used so much filthy words on me after our breakup. I can’t believe it. Who she had become. She has changed so badly. What did I do but love her so much. Yeah I was a lil possessive sometimes but she turned the tables on me and couldn’t even trust me. She was the most beautiful to me though. She felt me attacking her insecurities. Her self esteem. I just want her to be happy. Wherever she is.  

  Her mother found out about us recently, so her mom mocks and imitates me .. And this ex of mine is laughing in the background. She told me a year ago, she liked some girl. And I figured out who she was.. And immediately she unfriended and unfollowed the girl.. And then she said she wasnt talking to her. So I told her I’m going to her parents, I’m not sure why I said that.. But I wasn’t gonna do anything. So she came out to her parents, and started talking to and following the other girl back. Although the mom is really strict she wanted to talk to me, and tell me to stay away from her daughter. But I don’t know why my ex confuses me, why can’t she tell me straight up. Now that I’m married, she does childish acts of following, unfriending , friendly, unfriending. She said she was talking to the girl, and she said she likes her in front of her mom. And said she wasn’t dating that girl. Or wasn’t in a relationship with her as of now. But it was her life. I don’t care if she was dating, or seeing anyone… I’ve no idea though why she plays mind games with me?  

Well she wants no contact, but I keep going back to ask about the new girl. And she wants everything private and hidden. ? I’m not sure why she does this. But I don’t like it. We were not talking for a long time but when I found out about this girl I got a lil paranoid . It didn’t matter if she was talking to her but when I found out about the other girl, she didn’t want me to know anything? I’m not sure ? Like this scene… her answer will not affect me, but I just need to know.. https://youtu.be/4CvJW02cOX8 

Did I do something wrong?

Shall i send her this text? : Stop this childish way of blocking me. I have no intentions to stalk you, or to be into you. Doing childish things like laughing or mocking me. Calling me names . You are like a sister or something like that. It was just important for me knowing… like this scene..   https://youtu.be/4CvJW02cOX8  .. Your answer will not affect me. 

  I only want your happiness. You’re beautiful.  And you deserve something as beautiful as your heart. Your insecurities,  your self esteem – inside you, you need to boost it up. You have an outward tough projection, but inside you’re as soft as a feather. You need to go with someone who makes you happy. Who appreciates all of you. You’re you. We’re all unique. Loud, social. Brandfreak???? we’re opposite, me and you.   

  All the best with what life has to offer, figure it out. Your life is yours. Ive been controlling, possessive and jealous a lil bit being with you – my flaws. You were my first love. I was always the one to stick forever. Always been crazy about you leaving me because you’ll find someone better to speak with. Like you found me, after Timothy. I just don’t carry these feelings I had for you anywhere anymore. We all have to grow now. What we shared was nice , helped us grow at the time…but we move on, for better things that are maybe nearer to us.. That maybe help us see a different light somewhere.  

  Take care, always  

  Demi

 Or if you can ammend this for me? A text or a letter?

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